Small Groups

My oldest brother graduated from high school the year I graduated from first grade. My parents knew that the family vacation we’d take that summer would likely be the last time we had all six members of the family on a vacation together. As a result, they asked my brother, Matt, to choose the destination for the family vacation that summer, with only one stipulation. It had to be somewhere in the U.S.

 Matt chose Alaska.

We were on the road in our home-built custom camper about a week after school let out, and we didn’t return until about a week before school started up again in the fall. That’s right, for better than two months that summer we – my parents, 2 brothers, my sister, and our beagle mutt – camped our way to Alaska and back. To some this may not sound like their ideal form of a family vacation. But for us it was life changing.

I saw Grizzly bears, whales, mountain goats, and moose all in the wild. Sometimes they were even in our campsite (not the whale, or course). I saw mountains that soared into the clouds, the destructive aftermath of spent volcanoes, mountain lakes bluer than I thought imaginable, and an ocean that stretched forever. I have so many great memories from that trip. But beyond all the sights, I was able to spend some infinitely valuable time with my family. I remember laughing with them until I cried. I remember silly jokes and hikes through the forests. From that time with the family I learned that it’s not so much what you have, but who you have with you that’s important.

For my parents, that vacation wasn’t just about arriving in Alaska at some point during the summer. It was about the journey there and back. Every moment of that trip mattered. They did their best to make every mile count. And my siblings and I have an awesome shared experienced as a result.

I think that’s an important lesson for us to always remind ourselves of for our small groups. It’s not just about where we’re going and where we’re leading people. It’s about the journey we’re sharing with them as we go there. It’s vital for us to be intentional about the journey with our small groups and for us as leaders to do everything we can to make every mile count. So go forward and make memories with your group that will impact their lives forever, even into eternity.

My oldest daughter, Abi, is currently in that stage of life where her precious smile is akin to that of a hockey player who lost too many fights. It seems like every few days she has a new wiggly tooth and every couple of weeks one of them ends up falling out. For the past couple of days she’s had a lot of fun flashing me her “holey” smile. She’s had a tooth that she could bend forward and stick out of her mouth in a pretty goofy way. She’s gotten a lot of laughs out of her snaggle tooth, her changing smile, and her increasingly toothless grin. Just this morning during breakfast she looked up at me and announced with a cheer, “Hey, my tooth fell out.” She and her sister celebrated the occasion with laughs and giggles.

It’s funny how such a seemingly small event in one’s life can lead to such celebration when life is lived with a joyful heart. I can only remember losing a couple of my teeth. I’m sure I lost them all, and then grew them back again. But it’s a passing moment. Momentous to a degree, but not quite on par with graduation or marriage or baptism. Not a moment I would have thought to celebrate. Not until I saw my daughter’s glowing joy from this passing moment.

And I fear that I miss countless moments like that every day. I’m a pretty relaxed and easy-going guy. I try to live in a spirit of joy. But I’ve outgrown that childhood spirit that celebrates constantly the little things. I want to regain that. I want our groups to regain that. I wonder if sometimes we miss celebrating some of the smaller victories right in front of us because we’re holding out for the “big” moments. Let’s remember to keep watch for little things: a group member who shares her heart unexpectedly, a group member that prays in the meeting for his first time, a group member who is reading her bible more, a member who has a tough conversation with his boss about integrity and ethics, members attending consistently. Look for the little things, draw attention to them, and celebrate them with your group – because sometimes those little things are really a lot bigger than we think. And, of course keep celebrating the big moments, too.

It’s time to get your group revved up for the Small Group EXTRAVAGANZA. On Thursday March 11th we’ll gather in Centennial Hall from 6:30-8:30 pm.* Dessert and childcare are provided.

This night promises to be full of fierce, fun, hilarious competition between groups. The competition will consist of numerous random trivia components coupled with a few skill challenges. By the end of the night we’ll know which group is the zaniest, the most creative, and the most knowledgeable of useless facts.

Points will be awarded that night for successful completion of skill challenges and trivia components. However, your group can earn BONUS POINTS ahead of time in a variety of ways…

BONUS POINTS will be awarded for:
30 pts. – Best uniform and/or mascot
20 pts. – Super early registration by noon on March 1st
10 pts. – Early registration by noon on March 7th
15 pts. – Get your group picture taken with Fitz & Eddie Lowen by March 8th
10 pts. – Get your group picture taken with Fitz or Eddie Lowen by March 8th
(15 additional pts. are available if your group is in uniform and/or with the mascot in these pictures)
10 pts. – bring 2 items/group member to donate to the Food Pantry

REGISTER your group for this event  by contacting Elizabeth Wenzel (ElizabethW@wschurch.org) or by stopping by the counter in the concourse on Sunday Feb. 28 or March 7.

*Please note the change in time. We’ve bumped it up a half hour to better accommodate groups with young children.

Here is the small group curriculum for week 4 of  the sermon series What Would Jesus Hate?  

wwjh – wk4 group member guide
wwjh – wk4 leader guide

Sunday, February 21, Noon-1:30 in Centennial Hall
Training Event for All Small Group Leaders and Apprentices

Training Topic – Shepherding Amongst Wolves

The single most important aspect of small group leadership is shepherding and caring for group members. The world provides a number of challenges to our role as shepherds. In this training luncheon we’ll explore some technology available to help us better care for our people by staying in better communication with one another. Josh LeVeque will be our guest presenter for this event, and he’ll be training us on the use of the Small Group Leader’s Toolbox. You won’t want to miss this.

Lunch and Childcare will be provided by RSVP. Please contact Elizabeth Wenzel to confirm your RSVP by Wednesday February 17:
ElizabethW@wschurch.org

If your small group is looking for a place to serve, and if your group wants to make a difference in the lives of some next generation leaders, then you might want to take a look at this. Every Friday night the Christian Student Fellowship at UIS and LLCC offers a free meal and bible study to college students. These meals are provided by local churches, families, and individuals who want to encourage and partner with the campus ministry. Your group could prepare a meal from scratch or order out from the pizza place. The options are wide open, and the college students aren’t too picky. Your group would be responsible for providing food, drinks, and paper products. In return for your service you’ll get a lot of thanks and a chance to help out and interact with some future leaders. If your group wants to serve in this way, or assist the campus ministry in any other way, contact Gretchen Magruder at gretchen@uiscsf.org or 217-498-7749.

Are you in a groove, or stuck in a rut? This is a critical diagnostic question. It’s good to be in a groove. There’s usually momentum when we’re in a groove. We tend to stay on track when we’re in a groove. The path is smoother when we’re in a groove. And life is good, even groovy (sorry, I couldn’t resist) there. We can feel pretty good about ourselves when we’re in the groove. Usually this means we’re doing a good job and that we’re on top of our game.

But then it happens. We wake up one day and realize that we’re no longer in a groove; we’re stuck in a rut. How’s it happen? It’s a natural tendency for people to let their guard down when things are going well. We tend to get a little lazier when we’ve been grooving for a while. We tend to get a little overconfident in our ability and trust too much in our performance. And then our groove, our smooth path, starts treading over the same ground. We don’t push ourselves to perform at the higher level. We don’t stretch ourselves. We take a little too long to rest in the comfort that comes with being in the groove. And we don’t realize that our wheels are slowly cutting deeper and deeper into the ground, changing our groove to a rut. And then we get stuck facing the frustration of lost momentum.

And the deeper the rut, the harder it is to get unstuck. There’s a principle in physics that states that it’s easier to keep an object moving than it is to get an object moving. This principle applies all the more to an object that is stuck in a rut than one that’s poised for movement on level ground. This principle applies to small groups, too. It’s easier to keep a group heading in the right direction than it is to redirect a “stuck” or frustrated group. So, it’s important to periodically check with your group members to get their input on how group is going. You can do this by talking with individuals over lunch or coffee, or even spend a session with the entire group evaluating how group is going. What you’ll likely find is that members identify the rut long before you do and help you avoid it by capitalizing on the momentum that’s already being generated.

In a recent sermon Eddie mentioned how Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite and the man behind the Nobel Prize, was able to read his eulogy before he died. There had been a misunderstanding when his brother’s death was reported as his own, and the newspapers ran a biographical sketch on him. Nobel wasn’t all that excited about what he read, and so he determined to do something of lasting positive significance with his life in order to rewrite his eulogy.

Last night I sat in a memorial service for a young man whose life was cut tragically short. At only 28 years old, Mark Groesch went home to be with the Lord. But I was overwhelmed by the powerful testimony of this young man’s journey of faith and his impact on this world for the glory of God. Mark was unashamedly, unabashedly, unswervingly devoted to Christ. As Mark’s sister Sarah read his eulogy, it was obvious that Mark’s life was well-lived and brought glory to God. If Mark could have read his eulogy I know that he would have been honored by the kind words spoken about him, but even more he would have been pleased to know that his life pointed toward God like an arrow aimed at Heaven.

Stories like that of Nobel and Mark Groesch get us thinking about our own destinies. About what people would say of us if they were to eulogize us? It gets us thinking about the decisions we’re making. Are we living each moment for the glory of God? So, if you’re looking to get some good discussion going in your group, and if you ever wonder if the members of your group are” getting it,” then try this. Ask them to eulogize themselves. Then ask them to eulogize one another. But don’t hold back. This is a great way for people to ask others the important questions: How do you see me? Am I just a workaholic? Am I just playing church? Am I neglecting the most important things in life for things that have no lasting significance beyond this world? Am I more concerned with leaving my mark on family and others than gaining a big bank account or impressive reputation? Discussing these kinds of questions can propel us to a level of vulnerability necessary to acknowledge that we must be “doers of the Word, and not merely hearers.” Discussing questions like this prompts us to reflect on areas of our own lives where change is in order.

I hear and read a lot of discussion these days about being balanced, but I prefer the term harmony over balance. Maybe it’s my music background. I’m pretty passionate about music, and one of the things I most enjoy is hearing the right notes blend together in a way that moves me. You’ve likely experienced a moment when you were listening to a song and the blend of sounds made your spine tingle. That’s harmony. The notes and instruments and voices gel together in such a way that it creates a powerful sound. But if everything were balanced it just wouldn’t have the same effect. In fact, I doubt we’d want to listen to a balanced band or orchestra. To be balanced means that everything is in equal proportion to the others. Imagine if the tympanis played the same number of notes as the flutes, or if the canon at the end of the 1812 Overture played as much as the trumpets. It would be overwhelming, and likely a bit annoying.

So here’s what this means for small groups. We need to work on bringing harmony to our small groups. Study, relationship building, and service are the three basic elements of every well-rounded small group.  We might refer to them with different terms at different times, but these are the three main areas that group activities fall under. We need to keep these three elements of grouping in harmony. We don’t need an equal measure of study with an equal measure of relationship building with an equal amount of service. This would be unnatural.

It’s natural for different groups to have different focuses. Some groups will lean more toward service, while others lean more toward relationship building or study. The danger comes when a group’s focus on one of the elements leads to an exclusion of one or both of the other elements. Imagine if a group is so focused on relationship building that they neglect study. They might become good friends, but it’s doubtful they’ll ever experience the freedom and joy of being transformed into the likeness of Christ. Or imagine if a group studies service without ever actually serving. This would disrupt harmony and create what musicians call “discord.” It’d be like that one kid in the grade school band who tries to outplay all the other instruments and throws it out of whack.

You see the problems with both balance and discord. Neither is healthy for a group. So, determine which of the three elements of study, relationship building, and service your group leans toward the most and continue to emphasize it. But be intentional about not neglecting the other two so that you can bring them all into harmony.