Small Groups

There’s something inherently communal in this phrase. I’ve recently begun a new DVD based workout program. At the beginning of many of the workouts the main guy says something to the effect of “Let’s Go” or “Let’s Do It.” He’s working out in the company of some friends of his, shooting the video in a studio surrounded by people. But he’s inviting all the people viewing it at home to join in, to sweat along with them, to participate. He’s making a plea for a shared experience. Across the barriers of time and distance he’s using technology to generate a feeling of community, almost like you’re right there with him and the others in their gym. He talks to the camera as though he’s talking straight to you. Sometimes he’s pretty annoying, but we’ll forgive him that because sometimes he’s really encouraging. He knows when to challenge the home viewer to stick with it. He periodically provides some sage advice to coach everyone along. He talks “with” the viewers, even asking them questions, as though we are his friends.

It’s not by accident that he’s creating an atmosphere in viewers’ living rooms and garages and basements, getting them to feel like they’re there with him. He knows that if most people don’t actually make it to a gym, then they’ll have little accountability to a work out system. He’s well aware that without some camaraderie, there’s little hope for sticking with such an intense work out as his. He’s smart enough to know that if his program is going to be successful in business that he’s got to have satisfied customers who are pleased with their results who’ll in turn tell their friends about the program and encourage them to give it a try. He knows that to get satisfied customers he’s got to get people to stick with it. And he knows it’s a lot easier to get people to stick with something if they feel like they are part of a team, like someone is going through it with them, like they’re not alone. To enhance everything he says that helps create the feeling of community during the workouts, his company has created an interactive internet site where participants in the program can talk to others who are going through it. They can share their stories. They can get accountability. They can be part of a community. And it works. I know I do a lot better with most exercise programs when I’m joined by others. Currently, my brother-in-law and some friends from church are all in the same program, so I talk to them regularly about it.

But it’s not quite the same as having someone else right there in the room with you, experiencing the challenges and the joys and the pain and the good results. Having someone to high-five and talk smack with and grunt with and be sore with and celebrate with. We hunger for community and relationship on so many levels. In many ways I think we’ve grown past the two year old child’s mentality of “I do it” (though we don’t always admit it – more on that in a later blog, I’m sure) and we’ve matured to the mentality of “Let’s do it.” I’m convinced at our core that we want to participate in something bigger than us. Something great. Something with a promise of legacy and fulfillment. And so many of us have found our small group to be a place to experience this on various levels. There’s a sense of assurance and confidence in a shared journey. So…let’s do it.

This summer I’ve taken the challenge to read through the Bible in 90 days. I’ve also added to it the challenge to listen to the Bible in that time. I’m finding it interesting what listening to the Word adds to my experience. I tend to be a pretty visual guy, needing to and wanting to see something. I like to read things because I can mark them up and write on them and go back and re-read them. I also love to listen. I love hearing good preaching and I’m a fan of most types of music. But this summer I’m being reminded of how important it is to listen to the Word.

In a very practical sense, the Bible was written mostly to an aural culture. The Word was originally communicated through retelling the stories. The people would gather and listen to the Word as it was read to them. Individual households didn’t have books and scrolls. Most people weren’t literate as we think of it. They listened to the Word. How blessed we are that we can have our own personal copies of Scripture. In my house we have numerous translations of the Scripture, a Hebrew Old Testament, a Greek New Testament, numerous children’s’ versions, and on and on. How blessed we are to have so many ways to encounter the rich words of Scripture. But sometimes I forget that it’s good to hear it, too. And so this summer I’m falling in love with just hearing the Word of God. I’m catching things that I often miss when I read it.

But more than that, in a deeper sense, as I listen to the Word I keep hearing phrases like “they did not listen to God” or “they turned away from God and ignored His voice”. I currently have a CD of the Bible playing on my computer and I just finished listening to the book of Judges. In the corner of my screen it displays the author/composer of the music or story that plays on the screen. So on my screen was this little phrase: composer – GOD. What a great reminder that I’m not just listening to stories about people or listening to laws from long ago. I’m listening to the very Word of God. I don’t want to be like the Israelites who listened and then forgot, or who refused to listen. I don’t want to be stiff-necked or hard-of-heart. I want to be sensitive to what God would communicate to me. I don’t just want information, or even just inspiration. I want transformation. I want the Word of God to be part of me, living inside me, steering me in the paths of righteousness.

Exodus 18 records some great insights into leadership. Moses was acting as the judge over all of the Israelites. He was handling all the disputes of the people and teaching them the laws of God. Moses was dealing with hundreds of thousands of people at this point, and was the only go-to guy for them when they had conflicts. His father-in-law noticed that Moses was surrounded by people from dawn til dusk, and pointed out that what Moses was doing was “not good.” In fact, he warned Moses that he’d wear himself and those around him out trying to keep a pace like that. He suggested that Moses appoint others to lead under him, freeing himself to handle only the major disputes. This is a great story, and a terrific lesson in the need for delegation and a chain of command in leadership.

But I think there’s a deeper lesson here that we must be careful not to miss. To lighten the load Moses wasn’t supposed to just shirk responsibility or put any average Joe in charge of some of the duties. No, the Scriptures say that he was still to appoint able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, to be leaders. Moses was still to teach the way of truth and guide the people in following God, but he was to surround himself with men of deep character who could help him carry out his tasks. There is an obvious identification of character traits in this passage concerning the people Moses was to trust with leadership. They must be men who acknowledge God as the only God and who have a reverence for Who God is. They must be men who are able to do the task, not just good guys, but the right guys for this particular leadership task. They must be people who can be trusted, who aren’t easily swayed – people of upstanding character in their community.

Leadership qualities like this are timeless. They don’t go out of fashion. They don’t get surpassed with new ideas and more relevant leadership strategies. Depth of character and an attitude of the heart can’t be faked and will always make a huge difference to those we lead. Take a few minutes today and read through Exodus 18. As you consider your leadership role in your small group, ask yourself if you are working on staying sharp with your leadership ability. Are you continually working on honing the skills of generating conversation and asking good questions and appropriately probing into people’s lives to help them connect? Are you continually striving to learn more about God and so continually finding yourself in deeper reverence of the Almighty? Are you a person in good standing with those in your group? Are you respected because of your character? And, like Moses, are you leading people in the way of truth, the way of righteousness, and the way of life? Lastly, like Moses are representing the people before God with prayer?

In my first post I was thinking out loud about what small group leaders do. I wanted to follow that up with some thoughts about WHY they do what they do. In my experience, the most effective small group leaders are those leaders who have a deep concern for people. They are more concerned about how people are doing and who they are becoming than about what they are doing. (They recognize that what people do is still important, but that it’s who we are that really matters.) Effective small group leaders have a genuine concern to see people reach their full potential in Christ, and they want to help them in that journey. They love God and they are convinced that only in right relationship with him can we fully become the best possible version of ourselves.

I think of my buddy Steve who led an eclectic group of high school guys back in the 90’s. (That doesn’t sound as far back as it now feels.) As the youth minister at the church, Steve wasn’t much older than some of the high school kids he was leading. He knew of all the spiritual dangers that faced us, and he appropriately spent some time helping us think through the right response to certain situations we’d find ourselves in. But even more, Steve spent a great deal of time helping us form a character and attitude grounded on Biblical principles, rooted in a deep faith in God. He knew that he couldn’t possibly provide answers to all the obstacles that high school kids would face during the limited time he had with us. He knew that he couldn’t address every hypothetical spiritually dangerous situation. But he did know that if he modeled the faith and loved us like brothers he would have our respect and attention, and so he could teach us to live from a faith of our own that would guide us through those dangerous times.

I think this is what really effective small group leaders do. They get into our lives, showing us care and compassion, and so they earn the right to speak into our lives. Sometimes they speak into us as someone who’s gone before, and sometimes it’s just as a friend who sees some danger ahead. Sometimes they just put their arm around us to let us know better days are ahead. But I’m convinced that behind it all, there’s a heart for God and for His church. The most effective small group leaders I’ve ever known are those who do what they do not out of a sense of obligation or duty or guilt, but out of a passionate pursuit of God and a genuine concern for people. They want to see God glorified, and they want to see people live in the freedom that Christ provides. They might phrase it a little differently than that, but that’s why small group leaders do what they do.

Small Group leaders do so much. I was just thinking of some of the people who led me in my younger days, and then of some of the people who lead in our SGs ministry here at West Side. It seems like there are so many different models of SG ministries out there. I’ve read what seems like only a handful of books about SG leadership compared to the hundreds still on my reading list. But the thing that amazes me through all of the different approaches and organizational theories and concepts is not the differences (which are many), but the similarities.

It seems like most “experts” agree on the essentials of SG leadership. These essentials come naturally to some people, and others really have to work at some components of them, but I’ve never met an effective small group leader who didn’t possess some of these qualities as part of who they are. Effective small group leaders go beyond the boundaries of group time. They engage with the people in their group outside of the set meeting schedule. They contact members through e-mail, facebook, or phone to see how life is going. They offer intentional interaction, providing encouragement in good times and bad. They sit together at church and go out for coffee and eat meals together.

Effective SG leaders go beyond the role of “leader” and enter into friendships with those they journey with. They know and have experienced the value of relationship in the journey of faith. Effective SG leaders know that sometimes they need to be the sage on the stage, and other times they need to be the guide by the side. They know that at times they need to lead because they are a step ahead on the journey, but at other times they are simply a pilgrim journeying beside the others in their group, sorting life out as it comes and pursuing God through all of it. And really good sg leaders are humble enough to know that a lot of times they can learn a lot from the other members in their group. They don’t pretend to be know-it-alls and they trade in the pretentious appearance for vulnerability and genuineness.

Effective SG leaders spur others on in love and good deeds, encouraging them in the way of faith, praying with them and for them, all the while modeling a lifestyle sold out to Christ. Small group leaders do so much!

So when I think about what small group leaders do, it’s not preparing lessons and teaching people and generating conversations and all the other tasks that go with small group leadership that comes to mind, not that those aren’t important. But when I think about what sg leaders do, I think about people loving God and loving others in His name, and as a result I think of people who are changing the landscape of eternity.