Small Groups

This coming Sunday Eddie will be preaching on the theme Don’t Be Afraid to Speak. So I hope I don’t confuse you with this blog entry. Even though it may appear that our titles oppose each other, our messages are really in harmony. While Eddie will be challenging us to speak out on behalf of Christ, I want to caution you as Small Group leaders not to speak up too often in your group.

This is one of the most difficult lessons beginning teachers have to learn. When a question is asked, allow time for silence. While too much silence can be awkward, not allowing enough silence can be stifling. As leaders, we usually have in mind some of the answers we’re looking for when we ask a question, so the quiet time that occurs before people begin answering seems exaggerated to us. But, for those who are just hearing the question, they need time to formulate their response, to think through their reply, to mull over the truth they’ve just encountered. Offering answers too soon to our own questions can frustrate those who have something to offer but need more time, or it can create an atmosphere of laziness where the people rely on us to spoon feed them. Neither of these is a good scenario.

So, if you’re asking good questions, just relax and wait a little longer for the group to offer their responses. If too much time goes by, try rephrasing the question instead of offering an answer. Asking good questions that cause group members to formulate their own responses by thinking through the application of what they’ve been learning often goes farther than preaching to the group with the answers we’ve already arrived at. And, if we really listen to the group when they offer their responses, we might just find that they have something to offer us. So don’t be afraid of the silence.

I was thinking about this week’s sermon title – Don’t Be Afraid to Obey – and I was thinking about how it applies to small groups. The last words Matthew recorded of Jesus in his gospel were this:

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”  (Matthew 28.18-20, emphasis added)

In this Great Commission Jesus instructed his disciples to go make other disciples by going to the people, baptizing them, and teaching them to obey all that He had taught them. If you look carefully, you’ll notice that Jesus didn’t just say teach them all I have commanded you. He didn’t just want his disciples to teach people to know, or to teach people to understand, or to simply inform them. He commanded them and commissioned them to teach the people to obey. Inherent in this command is the truth that their obedience would be a proof of their redemption, a sign of their transformation and spiritual rebirth.

So, here’s what that means for our groups. We need to engage people with the Bible. We need to help our group members identify how faith intersects with all areas of life. And we need to encourage them to do what Scripture teaches, and hold them accountable for applying the knowledge they acquire in group study and Sunday morning. It’s possible for people to be incredibly well informed on what the Bible says, and still never apply any of its truths to their lives. It’s possible for people to be great Bible scholars and yet never truly follow Christ.

As Bill Search says, “The point of Bible study is to allow the words to penetrate and change us. When a group becomes more intrigued with history, facts, and language than they are with becoming like Jesus” they are missing the point. Groups that have their focus on learning and neglect to emphasize transformation fall into a dangerous trap of becoming like the Pharisees. We must engage the Scriptures in our groups, but for the purpose of allowing the Word of God to move in us and draw us nearer to God. So as we seek to teach the people in our groups, let’s also do our best to hold them accountable to acting on what they learn by walking in obedience and faith.

If you have struggled to get your group to pray together, you’re not alone. Praying out loud in public is difficult for many believers, whether they are new to church or have been in the church most of their life. Some people are just a little more shy and are rarely comfortable speaking up at all in group settings. Others lack confidence and don’t believe they know how to pray “well enough” to pray in public. And many people have just not been taught to pray. We all know we need to pray, but not everyone has had a good model of prayer.

So, here are few suggestions to get your group members praying more:

First, model it for them. Make sure you allow enough time during your gatherings for meaningful prayer.

Consider taking some prayers from scripture and praying through them with your group. (If you need help finding some, please contact me.) Look up some prayers from some of the early church fathers and saints who have gone before us and pray them with your group. Print off copies for each person and have them pray silently together. If you do this for a while, eventually it becomes easier to have the group pray the same prayer out loud together. (Again, if you need some help  with resources here, please contact me.)

Consider having prayer partners in your group. Get a stack of notecards and have each person or couple right down a couple prayer requests. Then have them trade cards with another person or couple. They are to pray together that evening at group and then pray for each other throughout the week. This also helps the group develop some closer personal connections.You can have the prayer partners switch each week or each month. If you have couples in your group you might consider having them partner as couples some weeks and then as individuals other weeks.

And here’s a fun one – using small slips of paper write down a variety of ways to pray: take turns praying in a circle, random “popcorn” prayer, pray for the person on your right/left, everyone prays out loud at the same time, pray on your knees, etc… – be creative. Then place those slips into a sock or small box. Pick a slip from the sock each week and then have the group pray however the slip instructs. This can become a fun way to emphasize a deeply spiritual element in your group. (And, again, if you need help with this, please let me know.)

If your group struggles to carve out time to pray, set a timer to alert you to pray at a certain time during the gathering and then stick to it.  Be intentional, be creative, give some of these ideas a try, and let me know how it goes. If your group does well praying together, please share any suggestions and joys with us here on the blog.