Small Groups

In a recent sermon Eddie mentioned how Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite and the man behind the Nobel Prize, was able to read his eulogy before he died. There had been a misunderstanding when his brother’s death was reported as his own, and the newspapers ran a biographical sketch on him. Nobel wasn’t all that excited about what he read, and so he determined to do something of lasting positive significance with his life in order to rewrite his eulogy.

Last night I sat in a memorial service for a young man whose life was cut tragically short. At only 28 years old, Mark Groesch went home to be with the Lord. But I was overwhelmed by the powerful testimony of this young man’s journey of faith and his impact on this world for the glory of God. Mark was unashamedly, unabashedly, unswervingly devoted to Christ. As Mark’s sister Sarah read his eulogy, it was obvious that Mark’s life was well-lived and brought glory to God. If Mark could have read his eulogy I know that he would have been honored by the kind words spoken about him, but even more he would have been pleased to know that his life pointed toward God like an arrow aimed at Heaven.

Stories like that of Nobel and Mark Groesch get us thinking about our own destinies. About what people would say of us if they were to eulogize us? It gets us thinking about the decisions we’re making. Are we living each moment for the glory of God? So, if you’re looking to get some good discussion going in your group, and if you ever wonder if the members of your group are” getting it,” then try this. Ask them to eulogize themselves. Then ask them to eulogize one another. But don’t hold back. This is a great way for people to ask others the important questions: How do you see me? Am I just a workaholic? Am I just playing church? Am I neglecting the most important things in life for things that have no lasting significance beyond this world? Am I more concerned with leaving my mark on family and others than gaining a big bank account or impressive reputation? Discussing these kinds of questions can propel us to a level of vulnerability necessary to acknowledge that we must be “doers of the Word, and not merely hearers.” Discussing questions like this prompts us to reflect on areas of our own lives where change is in order.

I hear and read a lot of discussion these days about being balanced, but I prefer the term harmony over balance. Maybe it’s my music background. I’m pretty passionate about music, and one of the things I most enjoy is hearing the right notes blend together in a way that moves me. You’ve likely experienced a moment when you were listening to a song and the blend of sounds made your spine tingle. That’s harmony. The notes and instruments and voices gel together in such a way that it creates a powerful sound. But if everything were balanced it just wouldn’t have the same effect. In fact, I doubt we’d want to listen to a balanced band or orchestra. To be balanced means that everything is in equal proportion to the others. Imagine if the tympanis played the same number of notes as the flutes, or if the canon at the end of the 1812 Overture played as much as the trumpets. It would be overwhelming, and likely a bit annoying.

So here’s what this means for small groups. We need to work on bringing harmony to our small groups. Study, relationship building, and service are the three basic elements of every well-rounded small group.  We might refer to them with different terms at different times, but these are the three main areas that group activities fall under. We need to keep these three elements of grouping in harmony. We don’t need an equal measure of study with an equal measure of relationship building with an equal amount of service. This would be unnatural.

It’s natural for different groups to have different focuses. Some groups will lean more toward service, while others lean more toward relationship building or study. The danger comes when a group’s focus on one of the elements leads to an exclusion of one or both of the other elements. Imagine if a group is so focused on relationship building that they neglect study. They might become good friends, but it’s doubtful they’ll ever experience the freedom and joy of being transformed into the likeness of Christ. Or imagine if a group studies service without ever actually serving. This would disrupt harmony and create what musicians call “discord.” It’d be like that one kid in the grade school band who tries to outplay all the other instruments and throws it out of whack.

You see the problems with both balance and discord. Neither is healthy for a group. So, determine which of the three elements of study, relationship building, and service your group leans toward the most and continue to emphasize it. But be intentional about not neglecting the other two so that you can bring them all into harmony.

As I scanned the weekly ads in last Sunday’s paper it was obvious that a new year is upon us. The first few pages of nearly every ad were dedicated to fitness equipment and workout attire. With the arrival of a new year comes a renewed zeal for many people to get “fit”, and merchants and advertising execs are well aware that this tops the list of most people’s resolutions. But sadly, for many, the goals are too high or the commitment too low, and their “shape” doesn’t change much.

It’s probably a good thing for us as Small Group Leaders to take a fresh look at our groups and look at the areas where our groups are getting out of shape. So here are some realistic goals for Small Group Leaders (some of them borrowed or inspired by smallgroupministry.com) to help our groups take shape and stay spiritually fit:

1. Seek to be real with your group members. Don’t pretend to be the Bible scholar or to always have it all together. Be genuine, and model an authentic life of faith. This breaks down barriers and allows members to engage in real life transformation together.
2. Seek to take risks with your small group in the areas of accountability and challenging members toward transformation. Do the risky thing and break the comfort zone of surface-level Christianity.
3. Seek to grow along with your group members. Tackle new subjects. Pursue a deeper level of faith and invite your group to join you in the journey.
4. Seek to create an environment where group members not only dig deep into spiritual matters together, but where you also enjoy life together. Do things together outside of group time, or plan group social nights, with the purpose of having fun with one another.
5. Seek to be about something bigger than your group. While connecting to others relationally and being transformed through applying Biblical truth to our lives is a must, don’t miss out on the rewards that come when we add service opportunities to the mix. Seek to connect people to one another, grow them in the likeness of Christ, and then provide opportunities for your group to impact the community around you with the love of Jesus.