Leading a small group would be easy if the group only involved leaders and followers, and each were in their rightful place. But, many groups have some kind of combination of leaders, followers, followers who want to be leaders, and leaders who want to be followers. The first two are easier to deal with, while the last two bring more challenges.
Every good leader knows that you have to be a follower before you can be a leader. You have to learn to follow someone else’s lead so that you can learn how to lead well. Jesus described and modeled what this looks like in the Kingdom of God when he said “the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mt 20.28) Our leadership effectiveness hinges on our willingness to serve.
Unfortunately, not all small group members understand this principle. There are some who desire to lead the group because they think they have all the best ideas, the right answers, the right skill set. But they’ve never learned how to follow. Those people are difficult to deal with. Among the best ways that I’ve found to deal with this kind of attitude is to simply have the difficult conversation with those people. During the conversation be humble and listen to their suggestions for the group. But also be willing to coach them in the area of followership. You may be able to find a role in the group for them that allows them to experience some leadership in a way that you can coach them and guide them in that area. Maybe asking them to take the lead on a group service project or partner as a teacher in a lesson series. But the goal is to help them understand that leadership is essentially service.
For those who are leaders, but choose to follow, encourage them to take more ownership in the group. Here, too, invite them to take the lead on a service project or to give you a break by teaching/leading for a series. And I would contend that this is an essential element to a group. If you need a break, or if something happens to you, who will lead the group. It’s just a wise idea to develop another leader in the group to share in the joys of leadership with you. They may be resistant at first, not realizing they have the potential, so you may need to coach them along. But if they are capable, then share the joys of leadership with them.
